The ImPerfect Perfectionist

My day yesterday .. went completely like a blur.  We had gotten a letter from some government ppl that they had our bank account locked up until we get back to them about some taxes we needed to pay.  Yes..!! it was easily settled.. because the man had the money for it.. but only because i had a surgery .. and then an emergency one.. that threw everyone off that he had forgotten about it.

But i don’t know if i should be mad with him… or should i be sympathetic.. because i’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose.. to make me fret and all.  But c’mon.. buddy..!!!  just get the hell over to the bank.. and pay them.. afterall.. you do have the darn money right..??  Oh well.. i’ll just have to think i have a weak mind.  I was so upset.. that i had forgotten to take my medication the whole day..!

Yes..! the FIL was in yesterday.. after picking up the curio cabinet .. that we had paid for him a few days ago.. for christmas present for the MIL .. and gave the kid another 5 bucks.. without me having to hassle him for it.. or getting the kid to.  Now that must be lottery time for us.

The man must by now think i’m a darn freak..!! but i think i have mellowed since my operations.  I donch really bother him too much about cleaning the house.. or mopping the floor.  In fact, I keep 1 eye close .. and just go with the flow.  But come September.. things will change because the kid will be going to school.. and by then.. i’ll be feeling alot better.

Yes..! the very first time the MIL gave the kid 5 bucks without me having to get the kid to ask for it.  That’s a surprised..!! a pleasant one.. but really .. they should be giving more money to the kid for savings.. don’t you think.. since they don’t buy alot of things for her.

The kid went for her needles a few days ago.. but the grandparents didn’t call to ask how she was.  She had a fever.. and again.. .they didn’t call to ask .. how she was.  It’s almost like they donch really care… except for the most mundane thing.  I guess the kid ain’t that important afterall.  I shouldn’t be too surprised eh..? coz’ during my operations.. and needed help.. my MIL kept saying she needed to get home.  There itself we already know. that the garden was more important.

It is kinda funny… and not so funny since it is kinda hard not to get upset.. when the man just wouldn’t speak with you about important decisions.  I had some stuff to do with Canada Revenue.. but instead of offering to help all and clarify stuff.. he left me on my own.  Here i am in a foreign country.. whereby most times.. ppl cannot understand what i am saying face to face yet.. over the phone it prolly might get harder.. but nope.. the man.. never offered.  Like the money is only mine.. and not for him or the kid..??  JOY .. having a white man as your spouse.

Yes..! i can remember what my in laws need or want.. even from a long time ago and will constantly be on a look out for stuff they want.. or need.  Unfortunately, i feel i give my heart to them.. but they donch do the same.  It is disheartening to see the babysitter’s parents treating the kid better than her own grandparents.  When we want the in laws to pay for something for the kid..  we just go ahead and buy it.. they don’t even make any effort to get her anything .. even though she is starrting school this fall.

The in laws came for abit to visit .. with some organic fruits and peas and corns for the kid.  But they didn’t come on purpose to visit her.. but more like one needs to go bingo.. the other wants to deliver vegies.  And of course.. the uncle .. who must be out either to get booze.. or just get his welfare cheques.  They were in the store for less than an hour i think.  No babysitter and no visits.. and they want us to go visit.  NO way..!!  the more i think about it.. the more i think i don’t wanna go.

The man .. donch understand.. that man and woman are different.  While he loves to play games.. i wanna chat with him.. but at 3.28am.. he is still playing his games.  Making him do breakfast and supper for me.. is my way of trying to be close..  but is it enough.>?? for him maybe.. but not for me.. that’s for sure.  But for now.. i’m concentrating on getting well.. and making enough money to supplement our incomes.  So for now.. i’ll let it be.

We went to the in law’s last week. The first for a few weeks now.. because of my surgeries. But of course the kid and the man did go even though i couldn’t go. Last week.. i went with them.. and of course the house was as dirty.. the MIL said she was gonna try cleaning up the kitchen.. because in a few weeks.. she will be working at the apple farm. Well. .the cleaning part .. i’ve been hearing for years now.. and so far.. nothing had been done. Last week.. while i was there.. it was hard.. because there were so many flies.. all over.. and i just couldn’t eat in this kinda environment..! and the kid had to kneel on the floor to eat her dinner. *sad*

We were there for too long.. because work started to drop when we wanted to leave. and of course the in laws computers were too filthy to even work on it .. *sigh*!  And today is sunday.. so i donch know to go or not to go.   We want to do the right thing.. that is to go and visit the in laws.. but on the other hand.. it’s not fit for visiting.. *sigh*