The ImPerfect Perfectionist

The MIL wants me to have my operation in the winter.. because then she isn’t busy or needed in the gardens. But i hate winter with such a passion.. you wouldn’t believe it. So what is good for her .. isn’t good for me. Winter is our slowest time.. that means.. we have to work extra hard to keep the bills paid.. and i can’t be laid off during this time..!

Nope.. even if she isn’t going to help.. it doesn’t matter.. in fact maybe it is better. i doubt she is going to help me with any cleaning.. except to look after the kid.. her grandkid.

Yes.. hate to do so much cooking and washing up.. and standing..!  just to get a decent meal.  Wished i could ta-pau for $2.50 – $3.50, coz’ that is what it cost .. back home..for a decent meal.  Not fantastic.. but decent.  I haven’t had curry crab for almost 8 yrs..! sad.. ! very sad..!  i am craving for it. In fact.. i can’t remember if they are called curry crab.. or just spicy crab..??  Bummer..! losing touch of home soon.

About 5 yrs ago.. when i had my kid.. the mother-in-law came to stay and “help” .. so she said.  But besides looking after the kid.. and making her sleep.. and sleep .. and sleep during daytime.. she doesn’t cook.. nor do anything else.  And night time..the kid was all ours.. but you see.. with so much sleep during day time.. the kid doesn’t sleep at all.. at nite.

Now what i cannot explained.. or understand is.. how she can let someone who just had a C-section.. 3 days before Christmas to get up to cook.. and washed all the dishes..  for the whole family.  And no .. she wouldn’t cook..even though it was Christmas.  And because of that.. i really think my MIL is of no help whatsoever..!

Luckily the grandmother came to visit on Wednesday.. after the blood incident. Otherwise, i would have been real dissappointed. But guess what..?? she even bought a present for her.. but could it be because the grandaunt bought something too..??

Sometimes.. i wonder if the man thinks .. i can function just as well.. as anyone.. since i have these humongous fibroids.. and walking around with them.. and being weighty and all.. is so uncomfy.  The reason why i am thinking that is because each time.. he pretends and ignores.. and not do something.. like as simple as picking up stuff from the floor.. i cannot but sigh.  Afterall.. he knows i am in pain.. so why can’t he do it..??  he claims.. he would .. but LATER… ! yah.. right..!

Now why would the grandmother let the kid play with fresh and clean towels ..??  Beyond me..! i tell ya..! Came home.. from work.. and found fresh towels.. all over the bedroom floor.. while they play camping and hide and seek.  Although i do appreciate the babysitting and bonding time the kid had with her grandmother.. it is really, really beyond me.. why she would allow the kid to play with something like that..??  *slap forehead*

Shocking and bizarre.. !! i found out today . .that the BIL doesn’t washed his hands.. when he uses the washroom..!!  Eeeeeewwwwwkkk..!!!  what an awful.. awful unhygienic thing to do..!! my kid is never giving him hugs every again..!! Eeeeewwwkkk..!!!

I guessed if we were home in Singapore..the kid would have already gone for pre-school, music classes.. and also ballet or some sort of dancing class.  But because we are here in Canada.. and i’m at the mercy of the man.. to find out stuff.. and to plan stuff .. for the kid, i feel like i have not done enough for the kid.  Will she be behind others..?? will she get equal opportunity here..??  i donch know.! i wished i was home.

The grandparents didn’t even call once nor asked about how the kid was doing .. since she was going to the hospital the day before.. to be put to sleep.  Pissed is the understatement of the year.. i am feeling.  Only one grand kid.. and not showing concern about her.. nor offer to help.. with looking after her.. since she will be ill does really make me think.. why the hell..  did i choose to stay put in this country.. instead of moving home.